As someone who has spent a long time leading teams, and now trains others to lead people more effectively, the topic that comes up most frequently is 'how to change behaviour'. If we can manage our own behaviour, and influence the behaviour of others, we have a much greater chance of success / performance / teamwork / positive relationships etc

Sure, having the SAS take you to physical, mental and emotional breaking point in the remote Andes Mountains is one way of developing self-awareness, and character. The question here is whether there's another, more accessible option to generate character development and consequently a change in behaviour.

For me, influencing behaviour essentially follows a process of:

1) Understanding (where does behaviour come from - what is behaviour - why have we evolved it?)

2) Building Awareness (encouraging people to see the impact of their behaviour - where am I now - where could I be - what is working and what isn't?)

3) Change (encouraging people to want to choose new more effective behaviour)

The most challenging piece is getting people to willingly join the party. Creating the conditions within which people are open and willing to see who they really are, and to want to make a conscious change. In the middle of a frozen wilderness with the SAS screaming at you, there's no option (other than quitting). In the middle of an office in Milton Keynes, there's somewhat less motivation for people to choose to participate. Linking individuals to their 'why', the person they want to be, and 'what's in it for me' sometimes works - but not always!

UNDERSTANDING

What drives our behaviour? Two things drive behaviour - stress response (instant reactions) and behaviour templates. The stress response is fight/flight/freeze i.e. our threat detection system. Templates are way more interesting - these vary from one individual to the next and have been built up through childhood as a way of behaving. When it comes to ineffective behaviour, often people will act in two ways:

1) Self Promote because they are lacking something and will typically strive competitively to get it. Their behaviour might be competitive, aggressive, arrogant, sarcastic, jealous and they will often be craving love, praise, attention, success.

2) Self Protect because they have been emotionally wounded. Their behaviour will be deferential, seeking approval, shy, unconfident, dependent on others. They will be avoiding confrontation and seeking harmony.

BUILDING AWARENESS

We often have limited awareness of our own behaviour. Receiving the feedback of how others see us provides new insight, and moves us into a more vulnerable place as a precursor to change. I use Heartstyles for this, which is a unique behavioural change tool (www.heartstyles.com) and I'd be glad to talk you through how this works if you're interested. There's usually a shock moment when delegates realise the impact of their behaviour on others, often accompanied by emotional release as the group navigate this part. We all have effective behaviour too, and so delegates sometimes react emotionally when they connect with their loving, kind, positive, confident, authentic selves. Emotional reactions provide cathartic release, and the impetus for learning and growth, and are carefully supported and encouraged.

This phase of building awareness can also be accelerated by regular 360 style feedback collection. However, senior leaders rarely receive the depth of feedback necessary to improve, which is why I've developed a method of observational coaching to be able to provide 1-2-1 practical coaching and development of busy leaders whilst they go about their day job (http://www.optimusteamlearning.co.uk/pro-coach/).

CHANGE

With this new insight and self-awareness, the natural step is to ask - so how could I change / improve / behave more effectively?

Again, Heartstyles has a useful path to follow here. The model shows that Humility and Compassion are the 'above the line' behaviours to generate more effectiveness. Self Promoters benefit by working on actions to develop Compassion for Others (e.g. deeper relationships, love, praise, feedback). Self Protectors benefit by working on Compassion for Self (e.g. being authentic, humble, achieving personal best, believing in their own strengths, caring what others think a little less, valuing and trusting themselves more).

Whilst this practical approach definitely isn't the same as SAS Who Dares Wins, it does take people through the emotional self-awareness needed to understand, realise and change behaviour.

Do you recognise any of the characteristics above in yourself or the people around you?

Regards,

Simon

Simon Thomas

0113 493 1886

DHypPsych. CIPD. ISMA

www.optimusteamlearning.com

www.regionalmanagerdevelopment.com